Say Yes to No

Overwhelmed?  STOP, literally stop right now and think about the times you have said yes, when you really wanted to say no. … “NO NO NO” Kinda feels good. I don’t say it often enough (but I’m learning) I guess that comes with the territory of being a people pleaser. Or if you do say it. The guilt that is attached to it also goes along with us people pleasers. Refuse to please others at the expense of your emotional well being even if it means saying no to people who are used to hearing yes. Simply declining does not make you a bad person. You will still be liked. And if you’re not, well that’s not your problem that’s the other person’s problem. If others get mad because you say no occasionally they are not people you should be surrounding yourself with anyway .God forbid you say that awful word “no”. It is possible to say no without making excuses, without lying, without over explaining yourself. Just kind of let it roll off your tongue. It’s that easy. Right? Saying no means you know your limits. And we all have them. Again, we are not bad people because of it. Give yourself permission to say no without feeling guilty, mean or selfish. You have to make peace with this “complete sentence”. That’s right, no is a complete sentence. It does not require explanation or justification. Actually saying no can sometimes be the ultimate self care. Never feel bad about doing what’s best for you. Remember, you teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce. Much self respect comes with staying true to thyself.

Check list towards self preservation:
*do not let other people hurt you
*set good boundaries
*hang out with people who appreciate you
*always be compassionate with yourself
**say NO when you mean NO
*always appreciate yourself
*SMILE and be happy 😊
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” there is a sense of calm that comes with self-preservation”
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To Dad …with Love

 Hi Dad…so the 5 year anniversary of your death has come and gone on June 8th. Every year I post something on Facebook to honor you. I was very quiet this year. I don’t know why. Yeah, stop laughing I know, me quiet? After all, I am my father’s daughter. I was feeling quite somber and kind of blah. Actually, just how I’ve been feeling lately. Oh, it’s not that I don’t miss you because I miss you terribly, every day, all day. There is not a moment since you have been gone that I don’t think about you and wish you were here. Sometimes I still just can’t believe that you’re gone. Funny, I go by the “Dip” as you used to call it (The Donut Dip) where you were somewhat of a staple with your eclectic group of cronies. Drinking black coffee, eating your donut or bagel and yenta-ing about all the goings on.I could go by there eight times during the course of a day, and I’m fine, I really am and then I might go by one more time and that last time if I just happen to look over there in the right way a wave comes over me and I pretty much lose it. I wonder if they remember you there. You know people die all the time, and of course, they’re honored and people miss them and then it just goes away. Life marches on… people march on. I so get it, it’s just the way it is. People have good intentions. Come on, I don’t expect everybody to remember every single person that has died and think about them all day long.I have to tell you since you’ve been gone it has not been easy without you. It’s just so silly that you had to go. Yes I know it’s not your fault this is the process of life I guess. And I could say it’s not fair all I want. But I have learned the hard way in more ways than one that life is not fair. It’s just so weird, sometimes we are only given what seems like a few minutes with the ones that we love. And then thousands of hours to spend thinking about them. I really like to think that someday far away from now, that I will see you again. I like to think where you are I will be going. And it’s a nice place, a good place. So cliche to say, but a place where there is infinite youth, no illness or pain. Endless amounts of sunshine and happiness. Do you think that’s a bit of a pipe dream? I like to believe that’s where you really are and I also like to believe I will be there with you someday. After all, It’s gotta be better than this. This life that I’m still in. It’s not easy. I’m sure you knew that before you left but it’s gotten even harder. There’s a lot of bad stuff going on around us. That’s why I still want to believe wherever you are you don’t have to deal with all the sadness, sorrow and pain like we do here.
So it’s going to be Father’s Day on Sunday. I couldn’t just let the anniversary of your death and Father’s day go by without you knowing how much I think about you and how very much you are loved still and always. It doesn’t matter if other people have perhaps forgotten about you and their life is going on. All that matters is that I have not forgotten about you. That would be virtually impossible. It’s hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember . I so miss you Dad. You were one of a kind. All the wonderful memories I have I keep close to my heart.  That way I can keep you with me always . You gave me wisdom. So easily. Your life’s wisdom. Just from things that you have gone through. Your advice was always true, and real. You used to tell me that you knew everything. And you know Dad, now that you are not here I have to say I really think you did… know everything that is. Unfortunate that it took for you to pass on for me to admit that you know everything lol you always said to me no matter what I was going through. The most pain that you could see your daughter in. You would say  “this to shall pass”. Although it never seems like it’s going to. I suppose it does pass and then there’s always something else that sneaks up behind it. It’s an evolution of sorts. Nothing really stays the same. It might get better for a little while, that certain situation. And then there’s a new one to be dealt with. I guess I’m stronger than I think. I believe you used to tell me that too. It’s hard to see it when you’re in it. When you’re going through something so hard. But I have to think to myself, look I’m still here, still standing and I’ve gotten through it. Something else I always wanted to thank you for. Something that seems to get me through my days, my weeks, my months, my life. My humor, my humor that I got from you, Daddy. That witty, bantering kind of crazy funny. Yes, I got it from you. This is something that perhaps gets me through life. I think that your humor and your wit got you through you’re not so good times as well. Maybe tears of a clown? I don’t know but whatever it is I feel very blessed and lucky to have been passed down this wonderful quirky crazy silly personality.
Well, Daddy, I’m going to say goodbye for now although it’s never goodbye. It’s, “I’ll see you again someday”. Everybody told me since you passed that I will see you in my dreams.  Well,  in 5 years I have never once seen you in my dreams. I’m not worried. I’m not worried because I’m stubborn (like you) and I will continue to go to sleep every night hoping to see you in my dreams. Goodnight my sweet Daddy. I hope that you are resting in never ending peace. Lord knows that you deserve that. I will see you when I see you… Happy Fathers Day..love always and forever… your favorite and only daughter, Sherry 💗
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” when someone you love becomes a memory… that memory becomes a treasure”

Happiness and heartache

” Dogs lives are too short. They’re only fault, really.” ~ Angus Sligh Turnbull

One of the hardest aspects of our relationships with dogs is the great difference in our lifespans. When you open your heart to a dog, you do so knowing that you’re probably going to outlive him or her. The abundance of joy that dogs bring to our lives is worth the pain we feel of losing them, but oh, how awful that pain can be.

Sadly, we are given the gut-wrenching responsibility of making that difficult decision. The empathy and selflessness required to say, “I understand that it hurts too much, and I love you enough to end that suffering” is enormous!

 Life without your dear companion is definitely going to feel empty and raw. Embrace this grief. It’s okay to feel sad . It’s so very hard to adjust to life without your precious soul when they’ve been a fixture in your life for any amount of time. 
 
There are constant reminders that they’re no longer there, and it’s normal to have that raw pain that can come over you like a wave. The empty dog bed, the silence when the mailman visits, the lovely dance they do when you ask if they want to go for a walk.
 
At some point, grief does fade, although it never truly leaves us. You’ll find yourself smiling and laughing at memories of your dog instead of crying. Reminders of your dog’s happy moments will make you joyful. Perhaps a new relationship will blossom with another dog, of course never replacing the relationship that you had with your lost companion. You will be richer for the lessons that your old friend taught you. Each new dog benefits from the teachings of the ones who came before, and opening your heart to a new dog when the time feels right can be a beautiful tribute to the dog you lost. 
💗This is dedicated to Roger & Joann Dalessio in the loving memory of their sweet Katie..who has just crossed over to the Rainbow Bridge💗
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Rest in Peace Sweet Katie

 

 

Positivity is lovely

Negativity perpetuates itself, breeds dissatisfaction and clutters your mind. And when your mind is cluttered with negativity happiness is so much harder to come by .When you fill your thoughts with right things the wrong ones have no room to enter. Negative people thrive off of other negative people, It’s like oxygen to them. And when we are vulnerable and already feeling down, it’s easy  to start breathing in their oxygen. Negative people are usually unhappy with themselves they ruin other people’s happiness  because it’s hard for them to find their own. And we all know that misery loves company. We may not be able to control someone’s negative behavior but you can control how long you participate in it. Always protect your spirit from contamination. People inspire you or drain you, pick them wisely. Make a conscious effort to surround yourself with positive nourishing and uplifting people who believe in you, encourage you to go after your dreams and we’ll be there to applaud your victories. Always be kind to yourself. And have a positively lovely day 🌹

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“A beautiful day begins with a beautiful mindset”